Being confident in one self is, above all, a state of the mind. It’s all about mind over matter. And the brain can be your secret weapon, if used accordingly. And as there are still debates on whether self-confidence is an inborn trait or not, we can definitely train our mind to change our perception of ourselves and improve confidence levels. But don’t expect that you’ll be a completely different person overnight. You don’t want to look into the mirror and not recognize yourself, don’t you? Rather take some small steps for big achievements. In this manner, you won’t feel the pressure of sudden change in attitude and behavior and your progress will be steady.
In order for you to have it clear what to work on for boosting your self-confidence, we’ve come up with positive thinking, knowledge and training tips, all organized in a comprehensive 10 step process. Start managing your mind and change the way you see yourself and how others perceive you by taking action. Your journey to getting where you want to be starts now.
Step 1: Know your goals and think of solutions to achieve them
To get started on anything practical in life, you need to know what your purpose is. What are the things you are good at or the fields at which you want to excel? What do you want to prove, both to yourself and to others? Let’s say you are focused on studies, career and financial aspects. Maybe you want to get the highest score at the upcoming big test, or enter that prestigious college in your town, or go to an interview and land a job. Don’t let thoughts such as: “But I have other stuff to do” or “I’m not that smart” or “I’m not good enough” pop up. No one is good at something until they make themselves good at something. So instead of complaining, think of ways to solve your problems. Ask yourself: “What is the best way to achieve this?” Be ready to study more, use the internet for educative purposes, it has tons of great informative stuff, build the knowledge you need in order to pass the exam, prepare beforehand for the job interview. Inform yourself as much as you can and acquire the skills required to succeed in that particular field of activity. Or if you struggle with social issues, if you want to have more friends, or build a romantic relationship, get out more often, read and learn how to be more charismatic and how to approach people in various circumstances, look up when in public and make eye-contact with people, smile at them, talk to one another, volunteer or join a local team. There are plenty of opportunities, you just have to take advantage of them and move forward!
Step 2: Stay motivated
Your motivation to do something is the engine that keeps you going. The more intense your burning desire, the larger the potential reward. Staying motivated is essential for carrying out whatever activity you’re in charge of, and exactly this feeling of having effectively accomplished your task will boost your self-confidence. If you want to lose weight, don’t think at how hard it is to respect a diet and a regular exercise program, but at how great you will feel, both physically and mentally afterwards. Always try to create a positive mental image of the end result, it will push you to stick with your plan and don’t give up.
Motivation and self-confidence are interconnected. When you feel motivated, you know you have the strength to go through it all, so your confidence will rise to new heights. Daily, you face new tasks. By thinking of the reasons why you need or want to achieve those goals and by taking into account the possible rewards that may come up along the way, you can get your task done more quickly and productively. So next time you have to complete a project for school, or the task assigned by your parents or at your workplace, think at the development of your skills and knowledge and at the sense of satisfaction you will have after getting the job done.
Step 3: Self-empower you with knowledge
Knowledge is power. Knowing how to use this knowledge to your advantage is power. When you are knowledgeable, you feel powerful. When you feel powerful, you are self-confident. Start with general knowledge, to build up a basis for understanding the world around you and its mechanisms. Stay curious and ask questions to learn how things work, from little devices to enterprises. Most probably, you’ve seen or encountered a situation when someone didn’t know what is considered by the majority a common knowledge, for example how to resolve a simple math equation, or basic science, or if someone had a car and knew absolutely nothing about it and its inner workings, and they’ll be laughed at. This leads to a low self-esteem and low self-confidence. So do your research and study, especially in the fields you are most interested in, read about people who are doing what you want, watch documentaries and educational shows, you’ll definitely make use of that information later on.
Step 4: Take care of your appearance
Take care of your looks in the sense that you feel good with yourself. This doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money to buy the latest fashion clothing, but to wear clothes that compliment your body shape, nor to purchase expensive body creams for smooth skin, but to groom yourself, shower and wash your face daily and brush your teeth twice a day. Do this not only before you’re going out, but also when you’re staying indoors for a couple of days. Feeling clean has an instant positive effect on your mood and self-image. This is why feeling good in your own skin, literally, is a powerful tool in building self-confidence.
Get plenty of rest at night to have energy for the entire day and to soothe your eyes and avoid dark circles around them. Drink more water and stay properly hydrated, keep your nails clean, use deodorant and avoid having greasy hair. Dress nicely and presentable at school or at job interviews, as you’ll feel more successful and ready to deal with everything the world throws at you.
Step 5: Keep going
When life gives you lemons, squeeze lemon juice in life’s eyes. Meaning you won’t back down from the setbacks that will occur in your life. You can always bounce back from life’s hurdles if you learn to view your disappointments as a chance to your personal growth. Step out of your comfort zone and overcome your hardships. And so what you didn’t know the answer to your teacher’s question or you didn’t pass the interview? You know what to study more and what to improve in your knowledge, and next time you will definitely do better. Each time you fall, you rise up. Mistakes are a natural part of life’s process of learning. Know that drawbacks will come from time to time in different areas of your life, and be ready to keep going, as you never cease learning something from each experience you have.
Step 6: Acknowledge and improve your flaws
This is primordial for your self-confidence. You observe that you don’t excel in a particular domain, but you still want to continue on that path. Let’s say you are a student who wants to become a design engineer working with solid modeling software, but you are not that good with technical drawing and with seeing things in perspective. So what can you do? Practice, pratice and again practice and improve your spatial sense. Start looking at objects in your house from different angles, start drawing solids in 3D programs and rotate them to see different views, ask your teacher and your more experienced colleagues to help you or buy a teaching book. The key to success is to acknowledge your flaws, gather knowledge and fill the holes that keep you away from making your dreams come true.
Step 7: Get rid of negativity
Instead, learn how to transform it into your fuel for self-motivation. Don’t label your disappointments as misfortunes or bad luck. Things happen for a reason. And that reason is for you to get better at what you’re doing. Don’t rant about how the universe is so unfair with you, and don’t blame someone else for the drawbacks that occur to you. You are the one responsible for your actions and for your knowledge, so the outcome will be mostly dependent on you. Be aware when thoughts like: „This is so hard for me!” appear in your mind and change them into a winning attitude: „ I can do this!”, „Only one little extra effort!” or „I will prepare myself and go through this!” Stick to your goal and see it through from start to finish.
Step 8: Create an optimistic image about yourself
This step is connected to the previous one, however slightly different. The main focus here is on your qualities. But make sure they are realistic qualities. Think at what are your strengths, what are the things you are often praised for, even what do you do to make people happy. Maybe you know how to make people smile, or you have people that always seek and enjoy your company, so be confident in your charisma and sense of humor, as these are personality traits extremely useful and appreciated by the society nowadays. Even when you fail, think of this as a learning opportunity. What sets people apart and decides their success in life is the attitude they adopt towards their actions and towards what happens around them. So learn to adopt a positive mindset and remember that if something hasn’t turned out the way you wanted, this is only temporary. Sooner or later, your hard work will pay off. You know how it goes: All things happen at the right time for the right reason and good things happen when you least expect them, but in the mean time you have to prepare yourself to be successful.
Step 9: View criticism as a learning opportunity
This is a tricky one. And sometimes difficult to accomplish, depending on your personality and on the person who makes the negative remarks about you. Even when you have a positive outlook on life, if someone doesn’t see you in high regards and lets you know it in a lousy manner, you may react in several ways: you may get depressed, you may feel embarassed, you may get angry and lose your temper, and most probably this will shake your self-confidence. What can you do in these circumstances? If the person is someone close to you, you can ask for more details and for possible solutions to correct your behavior. If the person is your teacher, your boss or someone who is more qualified than you and in their own right to highlight that remark, remain composed and be willing to accept criticism as a correction, which serves the purpose to make improvements in your studies or career. No one is perfect, so step outside your ego and listen to the feedback from your superiors objectively and decide how to resolve the issue and come back with a greater knowledge, even stronger. But if you believe that the comments are unfair and do not do you justice, discuss the issue calmly, pointing out your view in a way that doesn’t seem defensive.
Keep your cool and don’t take things personally when it isn’t the case. Pay more attention to remarks that are addressed to you more than once from several persons. This is when you know that you indeed have to correct something. When someone says something mean just for the sake of it, smile and shrug like you’re indiferent to what it’s been said about you. Afterall, polite indiference has better outcomes than outright anger.
Step 10: Gather personal experience
With every experience you have, you gather more and more knowledge. As you complete new tasks, you come closer to achieving your goals, and this will make you feel increasingly confident in your own strengths. Always seek to develop your skills and talents, or to try to discover areas you never thought you would be good at. You have to take the initiative and get active: volunteer, apply for an internship, take a specialized course in what interests you most, work as a freelancer, find new hobbies, learn new languages, socialize or participate to local meetings. There are plenty of opportunities that allow you to collect useful information that you’ll need later on and all of this practice will develop your competence in various fields. Find inspiration in everything around you, surround yourself with positive, capable and self-reliant people and learn from them. After all, confidence is contagious.
After reading these 10 motivators for boosting your self-confidence, take a pen and a sheet of paper and write down what you need to work on in order to achieve your purposes. Start applying these tips in your life, they will come in handy, but take things one step at a time, there is no need to rush. Keep in mind that Wanting, Searching and Doing are the key points in approaching your goals.You will definitely see the difference in the quality of your life. And remember to talk yourself up when you feel demotivated and lacking self-confidence: there is always a solution.